In this blog series on Reality, Responsibility and Resolve, I have previously related the importance of being able to see your reality by removing distractions, analyzing your past, conceptualizing your future and most important taking responsibility for your life. It is now that we must move on to Resolving your reality. For one to have resolve I think it is important for these prerequisites listed above to be first and foremost. This will allow for a deeper understanding of where you have been and could potentially go. It is hopefully enough to help find your “Why” and maybe even enough to start your own credo of life. Your goals and plans met or not, will make the difference in uncovering the potential you.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish”
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Removing distractions will help you focus on your past, present and future. I first related this idea to you in a blog titled Turn off, Tune in and Drop Apps. In this day and age technology has taken over our lives and minds. We seem to be so hyper-focused on material technologies and social media success that we have lost our ability to connect with the natural world. In doing so we have exchanged many of our vulnerabilities in the natural world for the safety and comfort of our so-called smart world. We are so focused on actively trying to protect and sanitize our environment that we may be creating a weaker species than our ancestors. In some ways, I feel this has contributed to our lack of responsibility and the idea that our failure is something or someone else’s fault. There must be something else that we can childproof so that everyone can get a trophy at the end of the day. I have alluded to the role you play in your own life and owning the choices made or not. It is now that I want to relate to you that your life has One Path and one end goal. The end goals are similar but the pathway is yours to make. Simply put, after you have removed the distractions and focused on what’s important in your life, then set up your pathway with a general resolve that will be your compass in your life’s decisions.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
It’s a common question asked in every household. What do you want to be when you grow up? This question although common and simple can get pretty heavy as time goes on. When you’re a toddler any answer you give to this question will be celebrated as a victory. The ability to grasp a future you as a firefighter or police officer, or in my case, a mailman is the first step. As we get a little older our grade school impressionable minds will usually say anything we think our parents will want to hear. By the time we get this question in our teenage years, the question has become much more serious and most will attempt to approach it with some individuality, certainty and enthusiasm. As you age the question becomes much heavier and the possibilities of your future become much more narrow and suffocating. How can an immature mind make such a monumental life decision? What if I change my mind? What if I hate it?
Not choosing is still a choice
I remember this very question as it was posed to me by my Mom when I was about 20 years old. I had just finished about two years of general education and thought I was headed to University to be a math teacher. My counselor had just informed me that I wasn’t on the proper path for my major and that I’d need another one or two years at the JC before I could transfer. I was furious, but not necessarily at the counselor. I was more furious being blindsided by what I thought was the right way of doing things. I had been following the direction that I was given by my original guidance counselor only to be told that it was the wrong path. I was ready to give up on the college plans as the pathway seemed so unclear and expansive at the time. After all, I had a family business that I was being groomed to take over without any real choices to be made. It was right about this same time that my Mom had popped the question to me. “Honey, what do you want to be when you grow up?” It was the last thing I wanted to hear. I knew that not making a choice now was an opportunity cost I wasn’t willing to lose.
One PATH
I remember thinking, why is she asking me this when she hasn’t even figured out what she wants to be when she grows up? I remember I was pretty put off by the audacity of her authoritative question. I mean, how was I supposed to know what I wanted to be when most of my older role models were literally asking themselves the same question. Many of which were making the decision to not choose any end goal.
At the time I was very entrenched in the natural world and spent much of my free time hiking, backpacking, and rock climbing. Why couldn’t I just do that forever? Well, I looked into it and it turns out that park rangers in California don’t get paid all that much and their schedules aren’t so flexible. (sorry park rangers) I wanted to find a flexible schedule and a different direction. I decided to earn my EMT license and work part-time in that field while I figured out my path in life. I stumbled upon an anatomy class as a prerequisite to my EMT license and well, the rest is history. I fell in love with the human body and the pathway to a medical career felt like the answer.
I spent a little time in the ER and made a decision that I didn’t want to continue wiping butts. I started to look at a career as a Medical Doctor. I asked my family physician if I could come and shadow him. It turned out to be an eye-opening event. He heavily discouraged me from being an MD and insisted I go two doors down and speak with the Chiropractor. He related his frustration with his schedule and the strain it has placed on his family. He said a career as a Chiropractor would fit my desired lifestyle and overall purpose better than one in medicine.
I left fairly discouraged and on to top it off my older brother had recently informed me that he was leaving his path in the dental field for one in Chiropractic. I definitely couldn’t be a Chiropractor if he was going to be one. Right?
Sometimes your path picks you
Well, I was wrong. It just so happened that my new Anatomy professor was a Chiropractor as well. I was officially surrounded. She gave me a book that changed my pathway for good. Chiropractic First by Terry Rondberg. The book along with her encouragement and eventually a collaboration talk with my brother would be enough to lead me to my calling. I found a specific resolve needed to follow my One PATH and it fit my general resolve too.
There were still many questions that I needed to answer, but the pathway to my Doctorate of Chiropractic was the clearest and most concise one that I could find. So, I finally knew what I wanted to be. With my background in American Indian studies, the EMT survivalist in me, the desire to enjoy an active lifestyle and the holistic approach taught to me by one of my wonderful anatomy professors helped nudge me into my ONE PATH. Really, all the things in my life happened to get me right where I needed to be to make that decision.
Begin with the end in mind
I had a new plan in mind and the outcome was clear. Knowing the outcome is like having a destination for your road trip. There is a specific outcome that you want and a limited amount of choices that need to be made to obtain it. This was quite calming as it simplified my future plans. A great practice for setting goals and making plans is to start with the end in mind. Be as specific as possible when naming your goals or objectives. In my case, the initial outcomes I wanted to obtain didn’t start with naming a profession that I thought I would be interested in but knowing that I wanted to be able to pursue any interest that would arise. I would need the flexibility and the financial stability that a professional degree like Chiropractic would offer, but I also knew I wanted to work with the human body in a natural way. Once all the stars aligned and I understood the philosophy of Chiropractic, it seemed that it had been waiting for me all along. I knew that I was meant to be a Chiropractor. Knowing the pathway and the outcome soothed the anxiety of infinite choices. My One PATH became clear and all I had to do was map out the classes, show up and put in some effort.
“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” – Mike Tyson
How strong is your why?
My pathway to success sounds pretty clear and concise, right? Well, even with the most concrete pathway, there will still be obstacles and detours. Having a clear and concise plan is the best first defense against obstacles no matter their origin, but having a strong why is what will often pull you through the tough times. When I was in my third year of Chiropractic school, I was in a small boating accident. I was thrown off the back of the boat landing on the propeller, breaking my fibula and causing multiple large lacerations. After being relieved that I would keep my foot, my next question turned to “How will I continue down my career path?” It wasn’t the first obstacle on my path, but it was one of the biggest. I modified my path, increased my efforts and overcame the obstacle. This obstacle, which was once in my way, now made my why that much stronger. I was required to learn how to properly rehab and treat such an injury and could add this to my tool-bag forever. Every journey in your pathway is there to lead you to your ultimate purpose. You can only strengthen your pathway by facing and overcoming the toughest of obstacles. As I related in Own Your Reality, what do you want your obituary to say about you?
“Every experience in your life is being orchestrated to teach you something you need to know to move forward.” – Brian Tracy
Renaissance man
A common theme in my life seems to be that the hardest times were a necessity to enrich and advance my One Path. All of these obstacles will either end your path or enlighten it. It’s all in the way that you choose to Own your Reality. My surgeon at the time informed me that I wouldn’t walk for six weeks and my favorite hobbies of rock climbing and hiking would likely be out of the question indefinitely. When I inquired about doing physical therapy to help me regain my footing he replied that I didn’t need it and I should “just walk it off.” Well, as fate would have it, I was in Chiropractic school and my head clinician was skilled in a technique called Graston. I spent many days in the student clinic scraping my scars, adjusting my foot and rehabilitating my gait and balance. For me, it renewed my faith in Chiropractic and in the power that I held as a new clinician. The power to truly help someone with nowhere to turn and in a way that no other profession could. Not only did I succeed in making it to my destination, but during my time on this journey, I strengthened my purpose, My Why, my ONE Path. It helped to prepare me for my path ahead. Every obstacle, every detour is set in place to make you stronger, sharper and well equipped to capture the opportunities and hurdle the obstacles that arise. It is what I have always thought of as a renaissance man. There is also an emerging area of science called epigenetics that essentially relates that what you face in your life will be passed on to your kids. Read this earlier study called Pottenger’s Cats. This is great if we are out voluntarily facing our One Path and the obstacles that we incur because of our Why. However, it’s horrible to think about epigenetics in a time when our current generations are more influenced by entitlements and superficial rights.
What’s your Path? - A voluntary path will take resolve to stay focused.
In a previous blog, I created the idea of taking “The O.A.T.H.” One adjustment towards health (happiness, healing, homeostasis, heaven, holism). The OATH is all about making a voluntary decision to better your life and to do the right thing to the best of your ability. For this blog post, I changed it to be One P.A.T.H. One Positive adjustment towards heath. It’s the same idea but really puts an emphasis on the positive. On doing the right thing by the morals, values, and purpose you have set for yourself. It’s part of the credo of you setting up your One Path and having a “why” big enough for you to overcome your obstacles when they inevitably arise. Facing your problems voluntarily is what turns you from prey to predator. To make a resolution to do the right thing and persevere for the long term goal of your One PATH. Obstacles will come in many forms and should all be handled with great care and respect for the pathway. A goal with a plan is important, but a goal with a purpose is crucial to your path in life. Resolve is a deeper commitment to your goal that will help keep you on a path when impulsive temptations arise.
Your resolve is an analgesic to the obstacles and suffering that are bound to enter your pathway. I have testified to some of my biggest obstacles thus far in my Chiropractic career. These obstacles seem minuscule when compared to my predecessors. Adjustments to the skeletal system have been dated back as far as 400 BC, but the science, art and philosophy of Chiropractic has only been around since 1895. In an era of competing health paradigms, Chiropractic was quickly labeled unscientific when compared to the early days of medicine. A time when it was legal to prescribe heroin for a cough and illegal to adjust for the well being of a person. Many Chiropractors of the early era had to really check their resolve when it came time to face jail or their One Path. I am truly grateful for their resolve in the matter.
I want to make a special note of another topic that deserves some shade in this day and age. Marriage is a commitment unlike any other. In my opinion, it takes more than just a contract or business-like partnership. It takes resolve. There must be some purpose to steady the boat during the event of a rough storm. My wife and I have committed to one goal and one path. We know it won’t be easy and we know there will be plenty of pain and suffering along the way. We also know there will be plenty of joy, celebration and love. That being said we have set forth some agreements to know where the line has been drawn in the sand. Anything short of it will be a united effort to enjoy this life together and focus on our responsibilities to each other and our family.
Happily Ever After
So there you have it! The key to Happily Ever After is Write your Reality, Own your Reality and Resolve to follow the One Path of reality you have designated. Now if you’re like me and you’ve ever watched a Disney fairy tale like Cinderella, you think, “well, what the hell happened next?” The beautifully written plot took some turns and twists ultimately leading to a glorious ending, but what about the rest of their lives? What about the everyday issues we all get to know routinely? Did they ever create new goals and other plots to be conquered? We discuss much of those daily routines in the 12 Innate Essentials. We also discuss evaluating and creating new goals based upon where you are in life currently. The goals and paths will change based upon the environment and your history. So you’ve conquered one goal, what’s next. This will be our lesson on Self-Awareness. The act of looking within to see if what you’re doing matches your purpose and will help to fulfill your desired outcome. Listen to what is calling your name and follow the One Path.
So this is what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be self-aware so that I may continuously “grow up”, So I never stop growing. I want to enjoy my journey, be in the flow of Tao, hear God’s call to adventure and not squander away any opportunity available to my life. I need to dedicate my energy to the season of life that I am in and use the remainder of my resources to assess my reality so that I can plan on where I want to grow to next. It turns out my Mom and many of my role models were striving to grow up and indeed they have.
One Adjustment Action Step
- Read the previous blog post Write Your Reality and Own your Reality. Do the writing assignments and start the gratitude journal.
- Pick a goal to own. Start with a 30-day trial. (ex. Lose weight, get out of bed, fix your posture, practice good hygiene)
- Start with the end in mind. Realistic, specific and measurable.
- Does it fit your general resolve and path? How?
- Map it out on paper. Make a time frame and checkpoints.
- Own that goal for 30 days and journal its effects on you, your life and the lives of all that it touches. (5 pounds in 30 days, open the door to the world, romance your spouse?)
How you do anything is how you do everything!
I want to leave you with a quick story.
3 men working side by side, day in and day out in a rock quarry. When asked what it was they do, the first man responded he crushes rocks all day.
The second man replied that he makes concrete blocks.
The third man paused and said I am building castles.
What purpose are you fulfilling? What One Path have you resolved to travel? What will your obituary say about you?
So that’s three blog posts we have written to expand the focus of your life’s reality.
1. Write your Reality – Remove your distractions and pinpoint your location on the map so you can begin to plan your future.
2. Own your Reality – Take responsibility for your life. Present, Past and Future. It is necessary to improve upon your position in life.
3. Resolve your Reality – Create some general resolve (course of action) and specific resolve (course of action) to follow the One Path you have been given by God.
If you like what you’re reading so far then hit the subscribe button at the bottom for my newsletter or even leave me a reply if you have a comment.
–Nick the DC
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