Self-Awareness is such an abstract idea that it’s hard to really grasp the meaning of the word. The idea of practicing self-awareness intends to bring to light observations of oneself through introspection and reflection.
These can be simple observations from; how you breathe, to how you dress, to how you look and feel, to how you act, and to how you’re perceived. It can also be more complex things like; your deepest desires, your unfinished goals, your real motives and weird enough, who you’re talking to when you’re talking to yourself. That surely is a conundrum worth trying to understand better.
My intention here is to create a roadmap for your self-awareness related to any characteristic about yourself currently and in the future. It can be used for any of these simple or complex observations you may need to unearth about yourself. I see it as a useful tool for self-improvement. It is the act of paying attention.
Part 1 – You are Here!
Part 2 – Where To First?
Part 3 – But Why?
Part 4 – Ready or Not!
Part 5 – Are We There Yet?
But Why???
Anyone who has had kids will remember the “but why” phase of life. As a Dad, I’m often quick to tell them what I was told or what I think I was told. I’m paraphrasing:
Child- “But why?
Parent – Because I said so and I’m the parent, you’re the child and you shouldn’t question me.” – Authoritarian rule.
Child – “But why”
This can go on forever and usually we, the parents, tire out before the “But Why” questions end.
The truth is, we should let them explore their thoughts with some respectful boundaries and you should explore your own thoughts for proper Self-Awareness. Often though, it is too much to pay attention to every detail in life and the short answer becomes, “Because” and we move on to daily tasks.
I’m all for respectful kids that listen at the drop of a hat for safety purposes and the like, but if I want to raise critical thinkers and productive members of our society, then I must engage them in this “but why” conversation as much as life will allow. Turn off the autopilot’s “because” response.
In our last blog post we outlined the Self-Awareness roadmap and discussed goal setting. The first step in a new direction is always the hardest. Before you can choose a destination or a strong goal, you have to know where you are. If you are lost here, go back and read our first blog post on Self-awareness, YOU ARE HERE. Assuming you know where you are and you have set your eyes on a new target, let’s look at the deep “But Why” questions that should follow.
Here is the outline of the Self-Awareness Roadmap for reference.
First, Who or where are you? (You are Here)
- Clarify your position in Reality,
- Accept Responsibility for that position.
- Resolve to improve your position in life.
- Where do you want to go?
Second, Where would you like to go, who would you like to be? (Where to First)
- Ultimate Destinations
- Pay Attention to your biggest goals, dreams and wishes.
- Pay Attention to your current reality.
- Choosing a Destination.
- Can you get there in one step or is this going to be a multi-step process?
- Ultimate Destinations
Third, Why do you want to go? (But Why)
- Exploring your why
- Understanding your primary why?
- Making decisions with your why in mind.
- Is your Why congruent with your Who, What, Where and How?
- Exploring your why
Fourth, How are you going to get there? (Ready or Not)
- What’s your travel potential?
- What luggage must go with you?
- What do you need to prepare for your trip?
- What obstacle must you account for?
- What does the environment look like?
- What checkpoints will signal that you’re on the right track?
- What’s your travel potential?
Fifth, what’s next? (Are we there yet).
- Level up your Self-Awareness with reflection.
- Build on top of your current successes.
- Practicing Self-Awareness never ends.
Let’s look a little deeper at the Why in the Self-Awareness Roadmap.
Exploring your Why
Remember, the question we used to start the Self-Awareness Roadmap? No, not the travel analogy but the question of what do you want to be when you grow up?
What do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor.
Why do you want to be a doctor? To help people!
Why do you want to help people? It brings me joy.
Why does it bring you joy? Helping others makes me feel good.
Why? Because it is good to help others.
Why? Because helping others is a sign that I’m a good person.
Why? Laws of reciprocity or karma.
Why? Because I am a giver.
Why?
You can understand how this could go on and on exhausting your limits of knowledge and self.
Truth is, if the goal is to help people, then there are plenty of ways to help people that don’t involve being a doctor. A contractor helps people build their dream house or install items of necessity. Which path is right for you, is up to you and your motivations and your natural inclinations. Your Why will show your actions and reveal to others how you carry yourself.
Pay Attention to these big motives and which is most in control of you.
Is your Why to be rich?, approved of?, a good human?, powerful?, greedy?, strong?, loved and respected?
Pay Attention to your why because individually we collectively shape this world and your Why shapes you.
Ask yourself, “but why” and take it as far as you can. Why do you want to be… Your driving motivations may surprise you. Follow that.
What’s your Primary Why?
If I told you I wanted to hike to the top of Mount Everest, one of the deadliest peaks on record, would you ask why? Anyone willing to brave this challenging expedition must have either a very strong why or a very strong death wish.
You can obtain the map, pay for the trip and even make it to base camp of Everest with little individual effort. Success will only be given to those who have prepared and carry the biggest why. Of course, there may be a little luck involved too.
So what is your Why? What motivates you the most?
Ultimately for me, it seems to be good. To be a good man. I know that’s not very aspirational or inspirational, but it’s me. I don’t want to be the richest, most powerful, or the strongest. I want to be a very well rounded human being. I want to be a renaissance man. I want to experience it all and limit my ignorance in the world. Helping people is part of who I am and I am driven by my why.
This overarching theme in my life motivates many of my decisions. Not that I am perfect. I’ve made plenty of wrong turns in life. But, I do tend to learn from my mistakes and am good at picking myself up and finding the right path. Also, I believe the ability to adapt and overcome are common skills in life that everyone must hone. Having a growth mindset during times like the 2020 crisis will keep you on your toes and ready to navigate a new world as it emerges.
What drives you? What is your why?
Do you want power, prestige, money or fame?
Is your ultimate destination or motivation superior to your good intentions or superior to the products that you bring into this world? If being rich is more important than being good, corruption of your choices may arise as your ultimate motive makes the decisions in your life.
Just look at our current state of politics and mega-corporations. Companies like Google have removed their motto of “Don’t Be Evil” from their code of conduct. At a time when mega-corporations have heavy control of integrating humans and machines, aka singularity, one thing we need from their programmers is good motivations and intentions.
Good intentions, good motivations and good foresight create good people which ultimately can create a good universe.
Pay Attention to what catches your eye and why. Is it worth pursuing for the ultimate good?
Many years ago I watched the movie, Transcendent Man. One scene has always stuck with me, not because it was the climactic scene in the movie, but because of how it made me feel. If you’ve never watched it, it is a must-see. In the movie, the interviewer was inquiring why a scientist, who was working to create an artificial brain, would want to succeed in his endeavor if it might possibly spawn the end of the world. The scientist responded “because I have to. It doesn’t matter if it ends the world.” For me, this was one of the eeriest moments of any movie I had ever witnessed. Worse than Halloween or Friday the 13th. The science and technology described in the movie were nothing short of amazing. However, the motivations behind some of the technology discussed were alarming, not because of the technology but because of the carelessness and lack of foresight by the creators.
What is his motivation? What is driving him to attempt to create a human brain? Is his ultimate motivation good while also being good for the future of humanity and good for the planet? We won’t know until he succeeds or recalibrates his plan.
What I can assume, is he is not driven by winning the battle of good versus evil, but moreover by fame, ultimate intelligence and possibly greed.
I am a fan of the idea of following what glimmers. Chasing what piques your interest. A minority of individuals with true creativity is what transforms our world. Their motivations are not always altruistic or prudent.
Making decisions with the highest good in mind
The emotional/mental health side of this blog places a large emphasis on the positive progressive direction of your life. Why? Time will pass, just like entropy will occur, without any human interaction to alter it. So the choices presented to us, as humans, is to;
- Attempt nothing and allow entropy to occur unadulterated, naturally degenerating our position. (Natural order)
- Attempt to maintain our position by reducing entropy. (Contentment)
- Attempt to reduce entropy maximally and improve our position. (Ambition)
- Attempt to ignore the laws of entropy and increase the rate at which it occurs by adding to the degeneration of your position. (Destructive Ambition)
The first two on the list above have their place in the world as they are commonly the default states of mankind with respect to the Innate Essentials and non-essentials of life. The last two on the list, ambition and destructive ambition, are not as common but are the stars of the show for sure. These two, driven by a minority of people, have largely been responsible for the world as we know it. The good and the bad.
Constructive Ambition
Not every Human is characterized as having ambition, but humankind as a whole has always proven to be ambitious. The intentions are usually benevolent but often come with unintended consequences. This is why our species is here and generally at the top of the food chain. Think of all of the wonderful innovations we have made bringing us into the 21st century. For example, think of the automobile. Its efficient way of moving us from point A to point B is remarkable. On the other hand, it’s also responsible for the unintended consequences of shaping our cities, freeways and even the smog we now breathe.
Destructive Ambition
Now, on the other side of the coin is an increase in entropic or destructive behaviors. Unfortunately, this has also helped to shape our world and generally for the worse. Malevolence and a lack of caring or ignorance are generally responsible for these results. Unrestrained Pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth are the 7 deadly sins that make up just some of the negative categorical problems our world has faced in its history. Think of the Nuremberg trials, horrible acts of evil were performed and its unintended consequences were medical advancements as well as laws and restrictions. This is where the idea of informed consent was created for medical consumers. The right to choose what medications and procedures we will undergo. Pay Attention because this right is slowly fading away.
You are the sum of your choices
So, the deal is that each choice you make either builds you up or breaks you down. Each decision leads you closer to your ultimate destination or further from it. Each choice is of good or evil. Heaven or Hell.
No matter the intentions, humankind is always trying to create advancement of our species and civilization. There can never be an ultimate destination, other than transcendence into heaven. With this in mind, our mortal lives are shaped by the journey’s we take when attempting to reach certain destinations. Life and happiness can be found in the journey, not the destination. Attempting to have a positive role in life will make that meaning of life better than can be imagined.
Make a decision congruent with your Why, see where it takes you…
There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why.
William Barclay
Is your Why congruent with your Who, What, Where and How?
Sometimes you just have to make a decision without knowing the ultimate destination. Do your best to make decisions that are good for you now, good for you in the future and good for the world in general. Remember, the cost of doing nothing still has a cost.
Wrong turns happen in life, just like with my old roommate Shaun that we talked about in part 1 of the Self-Awareness Roadmap. Don’t panic, assess your surroundings and adjust your map as any modern GPS system would. Automatically reroute your roadmap with your current ultimate destination in mind. Knowing your Why will help you reroute and easily continue on to your ultimate destination and succeed in your journey.
Try to find your True North on the roadmap of your life!
An unsuccessful attempt is closer to your goal than no attempt at all. Pay attention to unfinished projects and surrendered responsibilities. Revise your plan and reroute your map to finish what you started.
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
One Adjustment Action Steps
Know where “You Are Here” is exactly. Review the blog post on Removing Distractions, Taking Responsibility and Resolving to see it through. Not just a fad but a lifestyle of change and infinite potential.
Where do you want to go or who do you want to be in life? Start with the end in mind. In the blog post Write Your Reality I have some tools to help you tease this out. It doesn’t need to be a final draft, just a rough draft for your life’s destinations. Take the OATH and commit to improving your life.
Your Why is crucial to your life. Understand it better than anyone. There are many great books on finding your why by authors such as Simon Sinek and Seth Godin to name a few.
How has an infinite amount of possibilities. No two are the same. I’ve written a few blog posts explaining how Routines build Dreams, how having a Grit Mindset pushes you through barriers and how to build immunity to weakness.
Practice Paying Attention to everything in your life. Pay Attention in a prioritized manner from the top down.
Journal daily. It doesn’t need to be extensive or formal. Just write down your thoughts daily before they’re gone. Document it or it didn’t happen!
Self-Awareness takes time. Looking into your Why, Who, Where and How requires a great amount of self-development, reflection and introspection.
Writing is a form of thinking and understanding that I use to dig deeper into my own self-awareness. Make it a practice and you can improve the depth of your Self-Awareness.
Nick the DC
Related articles
Disclaimer: The One Adjustment website and blog does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment of any type. One Adjustment uses affiliate links as a means to support the content provided at no extra cost to you. Please see disclaimer link for more details.
