Self-Awareness is such an abstract idea that it’s hard to really grasp the meaning of the word. The idea of practicing self-awareness intends to bring to light observations of oneself through introspection and reflection.
These can be simple observations from; how you breathe, to how you dress, to how you look, to how you act, to how you feel and to how you’re perceived. It can also be more complex things like; your deepest desires, your unfinished goals, your real motives and weird enough, who you’re talking to when you’re talking to yourself. That surely is a conundrum worth trying to understand better.
My intention here is to create a roadmap for your self-awareness related to any characteristic about yourself currently and in the future. It can be used for any of these simple or complex observations you may need to unearth about yourself. I see it as a useful tool for self-improvement. It is the act of paying attention.
Part 1 – You are Here!
Part 2 – Where To First?
Part 3 – But Why?
Part 4 – Ready or Not!
Part 5 – Are We There Yet?
You Are Here
When you look at a map, one of the first things you need to know, with a great amount of certainty, is where you are on the map. Often at amusement parks, malls or hiking locations, you will see a map with a big red arrow that says “YOU ARE HERE”. Your current position is an integral part of the map as it can determine where you are and more importantly where you can go. It is impossible to plan a journey or to realistically set a destination without the knowledge of where you are to begin with.
The first rule of Self-Awareness is to know where you are at any given moment. Whether you’re planning a trip, setting a goal, or evaluating your current worldly affairs, you will need to know where you’re at physically, mentally, financially, individually, collectively and more. Without clear self-awareness, you will be lost in this world.
I’ll never forget my first roommate in college, Shaun. Shaun had the unbelievable talent of being lost almost anywhere he went. He had little to no understanding of direction whatsoever. Each time he would leave for work or even go a block away to the store, I would have to give him turn by turn directions. It was astonishing to me just how his brain worked or didn’t work when it came to his “sense” of direction. It seemed that no matter how many times he would make the drive, he was never able to fully make the trip without having referenced the handwritten directions.
One day after he left his work, he made a wrong turn and ended up completely lost. His wrong turn, something we all do in life, instantly threw him into a state of panic and chaos as he knew he had entered the unknown. In his panic, he called me for help. Shaun’s voice trembled and cracked as he explained his conundrum and he demanded me to help him get home.
Of course I wanted to help, so I asked him where he was and how I could help. Obviously stressed he responded, “I don’t know I’m lost, that’s why I called you.” I asked him for points of references, I asked him for street names of which he could provide neither landmarks nor street names. We were at a standstill. Without his location, how could I help get him home?
I was his last hope and his inability to provide me with any relevant information created great panic for him. He knew without this information I, his last lifeline, was useless. His demands grew into anger and fear as time went on. His mind began to race about all the unknown possibilities. His fear and panic were a distraction making him unable to pay attention to his surroundings and define them clearly.
Over the next half hour, I was able to pry out enough information from him to determine his approximate location. With that, he was able to make it home and calm himself.
I couldn’t help but laugh at Shaun that day and I still can’t help but laugh at the situation he presented me with. How do you help someone who is lost and unable to tell you where they are?
The answer is, you can’t.
Where are you exactly?
Pay Attention to your current position in life.
Similar to the story above, with life ambitions of physical, chemical and emotional health, how do you help someone who has lost their way? First, you must meet them where they’re at. Their starting point is essential to their journey and ultimate destination. They must begin by paying attention to their surroundings, their character, their environment, their motives and their circumstances.
For example, someone overweight must first assess their weight and then assess the bad habits that produced their resulting fatness. To determine this, you must apply the first Emotional Innate Essential of knowing your Reality.
To do this, you have to clarify what that is and consistently PAY ATTENTION to it. Unfortunately many fail to do this due to anxiety and fear of what it will cost them to change.
Reality, Responsibility and Resolve
Reality
The first of my Innate Essentials in the Emotional Well-Being category is Reality. Quite simply, you can’t know where you’re going if you don’t know where you are to begin with. Under this umbrella category, I have set out to make the case that you need to first remove distractions for clarity of your reality. In this day and age, we have many distractions and addictions that make it difficult to see our true selves. Turn off, Tune in and Drop Apps to make a difference.
Responsibility
Once you find your position in reality, then you need to take Responsibility for where you are at. This doesn’t mean you are 100 percent at fault for everything that brought you to this point, but you can be damn sure that no one else is going to take the responsibility to get you out of there. Are you a victim or victor? So, take responsibility and own your reality.
Resolve
Last is Resolve. Resolve to find a solution to give your life the meaning and purpose it was meant for. Each one of us has a purpose and an innate potential here on earth. Of course, you can clarify your reality, take responsibility for your position and then still choose to ignore it. It is common to see such laziness in living up to your potential, but what else is life for? Resolving to make a plan means you have to pay attention and be self-aware of who you are and who you could be. Evading your known potential is just laziness or worse it may be an act of willful blindness.
Go back and read the articles based on finding out where you are in reality, take responsibility and resolve to make a change.
Where Do You Want To Go?
Assuming you know where you are, let’s set up some parameters for your next destination or goal. We will discuss this deeper in part 2 of the Self-Awareness Roadmap.
Here is the outline of the Self-Awareness Roadmap for reference.
First, Who or where are you? (You are Here)
- Clarify your position in Reality,
- Accept Responsibility for that position.
- Resolve to improve your position in life.
- Where do you want to go?
Second, Where would you like to go, who would you like to be? (Where to First)
- Ultimate Destinations
- Pay Attention to your biggest goals, dreams and wishes.
- Pay Attention to your current reality.
- Choosing a Destination.
- Can you get there in one step or is this going to be a multi-step process?
- Ultimate Destinations
Third, Why do you want to go? (But Why)
- Exploring your why
- Understanding your primary why?
- Making decisions with your why in mind.
- Is your Why congruent with your Who, What, Where and How?
- Exploring your why
Fourth, How are you going to get there? (Ready or Not)
- What’s your travel potential?
- What luggage must go with you?
- What do you need to prepare for your trip?
- What obstacle must you account for?
- What does the environment look like?
- What checkpoints will signal that you’re on the right track?
- What’s your travel potential?
Fifth, what’s next? (Are we there yet).
- Level up your Self-Awareness with reflection.
- Build on top of your current successes.
- Practicing Self-Awareness never ends.
Where you’ve been, where you are and where you’re going is often the focus of one’s life and goals. This to me is superficial and lacking self-awareness.
Your why is more important than your where, what or how. Your why can unravel the deepest layers of your self-awareness. What are you doing and more importantly why?
Do you want to be a Doctor? Why? For the money, the prestige, or to help people?
If you were a patient, what would you want your Doctors “why” to be
Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
– Bil Keane
I want to leave you with some questions to tease out where you want to go first.
Using a roadmap analogy, pretend that you are in California and you want to take a journey to Niagara Falls in Canada.
Let’s answer some of the questions about embarking upon this journey.
Travel Roadmap Checklist
- Where are you? California
- Where do you want to go? Niagara Falls, Canada
- Why do you want to go? To see the waterfall and feel the mist as it comes off the waterfall.
- What do you want to do there? Ride the Maiden of the mist behind the waterfall.
- How do we get there? Road Trip!
- How long will it take? 36 hours driving.
- Can you drive straight through from California? Yes, but I don’t want to. I will need some checkpoints along the way.
- How long will I stay? 2 weeks
- Where do I want to go afterward? Is this my Final Destination?
Self-Awareness Roadmap Checklist
- Where are you? College.
- Where do you want to go? To be a doctor.
- Can you become a doctor next week? No, it’ll take undergrad, followed by grad school, followed by residency.
- Why do you want to go? To help people.
- What do you want to do there? Help people get healthy.
- How do we get there? School and clinical experience.
- How long will it take? 8 years
- How long will I stay in practice? Retirement.
- Where do I want to go afterward? Is this my Final Destination?
Pay Attention
Ok, so you get the point. There is a lot that goes into planning any journey or any goal in life.
Self-Awareness must begin with knowing where you are at any given moment so that you can be prepared for whatever life hands you. This preparation will help you avoid any missed opportunities as well as keep you on track to whatever your ultimate destinations are in life. It is these destinations that will likely define your life so… PAY ATTENTION!
One Adjustment Action Steps
Know where “You Are Here” is exactly. Review the blog post on Removing Distractions, Taking Responsibility and Resolving to see it through. Not just a fad but a lifestyle of change and infinite potential.
Where do you want to go or who do you want to be in life? Start with the end in mind. In the blog post Write Your Reality I have some tools to help you tease this out. It doesn’t need to be a final draft, just a rough draft for your life’s destinations. Take the OATH and commit to improving your life.
Your Why is crucial to your life. Understand it better than anyone. There are many great books on finding your why by authors such as Simon Sinek and Seth Godin to name a few.
How has an infinite amount of possibilities. No two are the same. I’ve written a few blog posts explaining how Routines build Dreams, how having a Grit Mindset pushes you through barriers and how to build immunity to weakness.
Practice Paying Attention to everything in your life. Pay Attention in a prioritized manner from the top down.
Journal daily. It doesn’t need to be extensive or formal. Just write down your thoughts daily before they’re gone. Document it or it didn’t happen!
In the next few blog posts, we will examine a few other questions that pertain to self-awareness and your ability to navigate your life’s roadmap. Let’s start by imagining a destination that’s a little more concrete for you to attain. So, where do you want to go first?
Know WHO you are, not just where you want to go. You are the only you on Earth.
Nick the DC
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